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When I listen to people explain their frustrations with dating or how they’re feeling rejected after a possible date didn’t materialise, or not getting past a date or few with someone, what I realise is some of us are waiting to be chosen.
In these situations, the dynamic is imbalanced from the outset because you’re putting your fate into someone else’s hands, because you assume that if they choose you that it’s something you want to be in, and on the flipside you assume that if you’re not chosen that it must definitely have been a relationship you should have had.
So please tell your ex you love ’em, hate ’em, or miss them – whatever you want.
It could be that you recognise certain things that would register as issues to avoid with someone else, but you see it as an opportunity.Someone in your common interests, appearance or whatever ‘field’ has a vacancy, you’re on it without even truly evaluating what the ‘opportunity’ is. The overwhelming majority of the time, you are already aware of these reasons, it’s just that you get sidetracked by your ego that needs that gold star of someone choosing you.It’s like “I want to be chosen so I have the option of telling them to bog off.” Newsflash – you have that option already. Other so that you can figure out why you weren’t chosen to be on the rowing team of a boat you don’t even want to be on, or a boat that you’ve already worked out is a bad ride and that you need to get the hell out of.This is your life – you must be the primary driver of your choices.Hold your own and put away your Choose Me Stick and stop playing a role in life that says “How can I be the right one for you? Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.